It is such a relief that summer time is here and I'm off of work for 2+ months! We will still be busy and on the run many days but not usually as early as when I actually have to be to work by 7:45 am (with a 25 minute drive and daycare drop off). I don't know what it was, but mornings this winter & spring were really rough for us. Every day was a constant battle with Jacob and Sarah to get up, get dressed, and get out the door on time. I was running late almost every day and by the time I left them at daycare, one of them (and often me) was in tears. We had issues over what clothes to were. How 'uncomfortable' clothes were. That they wanted milk. That they wanted WARM milk. That they wanted warm milk in a DIFFERENT cup! We argued over snacks, going potty, brushing our teeth, and how many stories we had time to read. It was something, every. single. day. And I couldn't take it any more!
I had to come up with a new plan or I was going to lose my mind! It was even more frustrating to me that we were facing daily behavior struggles with them when I managed to deal with this stuff all day long at work and not get this frustrated. So....I started to think about what I'd suggest to one of my student's parents if they were dealing with these daily struggles and I put a plan into action.
First, I made them each a visual schedule. Both Jacob and Sarah had their own schedule printed out and personalized for them. It listed off, step by step, what they had to do to get ready for school.
Second, while making that schedule, I rearranged our morning routine. They used to get up, get dressed, go downstairs for stories and milk and then we'd have to race the clock to go back upstairs, go potty, wash hands, brush teeth, get snacks and get out the door. The new routine would make sure we were all ready before ever going downstairs: Get dressed, go potty, wash hands, brush teeth, comb hair...THEN downstairs and IF there was time, they could choose a story and/or snack.
Third, we tied this all into a sticker chart. We spent days going over the schedule and the new routine and talking about being good listeners, not arguing, and getting ready with enough time to get the things they wanted (like snacks, stories and...stickers!). IF they cooperated, followed their schedule and got downstairs by 7:00 am, they could earn a sticker on their chart.
Fourth, they had to work towards a long term reward with their sticker chart. As you can see below, I colored in the lines to represent a week (5 school days). Once they filled up a row, they could earn a prize. The first week, we offered up a BIG reward - a milkshake or french fries and time to play at Mc.D.onalds. I then started hitting up the Dollar Store for a box of prizes I knew they'd enjoy for future rewards.
Fifth, we lived by that schedule. As soon as they woke up in the morning, we made THEM look at the schedule. They were the ones having to refer to it - it was not US telling them what to do. The schedule was the boss now! We also reminded them that it was THEIR choices and behavior that led to the good and bad consequences.
The result? The first week was AMAZING! It was a complete night and day change from the week before. We were out of the house on time, no fights, no tears, and lots of stickers! I was doing a happy dance each day after I dropped them off at day care. I felt like a better mom for not yelling at them all morning and for actually feeling like I had time to breath and take a moment with each child before I left them at daycare. They were proud of earning their stickers and they were very excited to get to choose their prize at the end of the week.
Its now been about 7 or 8 weeks since we started this and we've had a handful of rough days and lost stars since then, but overall, our mornings have been MUCH better. We are all happier in the morning. Jacob and Sarah are much more independent in the morning - they no longer need to look at their schedule each day and they often remind each other of what they still need to do to get ready. Sure, they still need some prodding some days but its not a fight every day.
Thank goodness for sticker charts, schedules and dollar store loot!
What are some big successes you've had with the challenges you've faced with your kids? Lets all share our parenting genius moments!!
Oh...and now that summer is here...I'll warn you - I've got TONS to blog about! I have pics and posts galore stacked up!! Yeah for summer time fun!!!
5 comments:
Woohoo! Good for you putting something in place that worked for your kiddies :)
I used to do marble jars for my kids, but the older kids have just gotten too old for it.
I should probably still be doing it with Keith though and should start Emma... cos Lawd knows she could use an attitude adjustment. sheesh!
Seriously? Gotta love special ed training!!! It totally works! I am going to use something like this when the Crazies start "school" in September...it's going to save my life. Thanks for sharing!!!
I used charts like this for a long time with my kids. They worked great, especially with that off-to-school rush around in the morning.
Later I made an after school one as well, that included reading time and practicing instruments. I really believe children build habits by repetition. So glad it worked for you!
Good work Barb! We havea couple schedules here too. Adelle has a clothing schedule. We fought all winter about dresses/pants/tights/leggins.... So now she has a calendar with little dresses or pants on the calendar and she can choose something that fits the category. COme winter I will run into that tights/leggings issue again, but I will get there. :) We also uses a 5 step morning routine chart. And like you said the chart is the boss, NOT mom. So I hear very little arguing. Before she would fight me about her clothing her teeth, using the bathroom? Now, well since the list says it she does it, whew!
You know Barb, we had great response with charts---think I may reinstitute a few!
You always Make My Monday...thank you for playing along!
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